Our world is full of information which we constantly absorb through a process of selection. Despite being blessed with the innate capacity to think and communicate thoughts through words and gestures, we take certain cues and ignore others. We may see but not observe everything, hear but not listen, talk but not speak, touch and not feel. Yet, if we could learn to fully observe, listen, speak and feel we would be highly intelligent and perhaps attain self actualisation instead of just a little improvement.

Listening skills are essential for anyone who wants to increase their knowledge at school, college or work. In fact many schools include listening skills for young learners as part of the curriculum in order to enable the child to follow teachers’ instructions — the first step to learning.

Enhancing listening skills begins at an early age and continues during adulthood. Many top employers train their employees in regular listening skills. Once we begin to listen actively, we acquire more information and knowledge which naturally enhances our self-esteem and confidence. It also increases our sense of wellbeing, leads to higher grades in academic work and improves our input and output at the workplace. While hearing implies to the sounds that we hear, listening involves focusing by paying attention not only to what is being said but also to the language, voice tone, volume, verbal and non-verbal messages. It also includes what is left unsaid or partially said.

In order to absorb the most, we must listen with all our concentration and focus. This can be achieved by blocking out all external distractions such as the surrounding noise, and internal distractions such as our presumptions, preconceived notions and other inner diversions. Letting a person talk uninterrupted helps not only to relax the speaker but gives the listener a clear and complete view of his thoughts as well as enables him to gather additional information through non-verbal communications of gesture, facial expressions and eye movements, i.e., listening with ears and eyes.

To help the speaker speak freely, the listener can nod, use gestures or words of encouragement like ‘oh’, ‘I understand’, ‘then?’, ‘this seems really important to you’, etc. Open-ended questions such as ‘how?’, ‘when?’, ‘which?’ etc., can also be included, considering the comfort of the speaker; offering advice only if asked for.

While it is important to provide encouragement, it is equally important to stop and ask if something is unclear. Paraphrasing in your own words what has been related not only confirms with the speaker that what was said has been completely understood, it also clarifies and enhances our thought processes. While the above are all important suggestions enabling active listening, it is equally important to see the perspective of the speaker and listen to him with empathy. We are all uniquely individual, seeing the world from diverse angles, through different perspectives at different ages, with different experiences from varied backgrounds, cultures and religions.

In a deafening sea of noise, try to be on the same wavelength.

The writer is a teacher.