England slammed as ‘brainless’ after first Ashes Test capitulation

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PERTH: A stunned England woke Sunday to savage criticism after their meek capitulation in the first Ashes Test, branded “brainless” and “damaged” by former greats after their cavalier approach backfired.

Ben Stokes’s men lost the opening battle in Perth by eight wickets inside two days on the back of batting collapses and Travis Head slamming a sensational 69-ball century.

Since last claiming an Ashes series in Australia 15 years ago, they have now lost 14 Tests, drawn two and won none Down Under.

England had a perfect opportunity to snap the dire streak and earn a psychological advantage heading into the day-night second Test in Brisbane on December 4.

But after reaching 160-5 the tourists lost five wickets for 12 runs to be bowled out for 172 on day one before regaining the advantage after dismissing Australia for 132.

They were on track for a big lead after reaching 65-1 in their second innings, but again threw away five wickets in quick succession to leave Australia chasing 205 which they achieved with ease.

Leading into Perth, Stokes called the former players who had criticised England’s low-key build up as “has-beens” — and that came back to bite him.

“Well, from this has-been the message is simple: when you keep throwing away Test matches by doing the same stupid things, it is impossible to take you seriously,” batting great Geoffrey Boycott said in a newspaper column. “They never learn, because they never listen to anyone outside their own bubble, because they truly believe their own publicity.

“Now it has bitten them in an Ashes Test, the biggest challenge of all, and unless they mount a spectacular comeback, they will regret it for a very long time.

“It is simple. Brainless batting and bowling lost England the match.” Former captain Michael Vaughan also had some choice words, suggesting the manner of the loss will leave mental scars. This is going to hurt England, it’s going to damage them I think,” he told broadcasters.

“They have the tools to be really competitive, but you can’t be competitive without brains.”

Stokes admitted the team was “shell-shocked” and he and coach Brendon McCullum had a big job ahead to lift their players.

“When we get to Brisbane we need to be back up to that mindset of how we came into this game, still very confident of our abilities and achieving the goal,” he said. “It’s crucial not be taking any baggage from this result into Brisbane.”

They are facing an ominous task in Brisbane where England have won just twice since World War II, but another former England captain is not yet ready to throw in the towel.

“They need to remember they played a lot of good cricket in this game, and remember that when you get ahead be ruthless and smart,” Nasser Hussain told Sky Sports.

“It is a mountain to climb for England but they have a lot of character and a captain with a lot of character. They are going to need that.”

Published in Dawn, November 24th, 2025

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