Advice : You stop before you start

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Illustration by Gazein Khan
Illustration by Gazein Khan

I was at a chai dhaba with my friends recently. A friend’s friend was there too. He was new among us, so we asked him about his hobbies, routine, etc. Among the many things he told us, we were impressed to know that he spent most of his time painting.

I asked him to show us his work, but he didn’t. He just smiled and pretended as if he didn’t hear what I said, like he wanted to avoid the topic. That was a strange response.

I insisted. He said the paintings were not good enough. I was persistent, so he reluctantly showed us photos of some of his art on his mobile phone. We were stunned. The work he said was not good enough was actually very unique; he painted garbage lying on the floor, a sewage lid, and other unusual things.

I couldn’t hold myself from insisting that he make it public. He had no reason to refuse, except the fear that he would get negative comments or people would laugh at it.

I realised that his unique work, so perfectly created, was unseen because of his holding-back nature. And this is a fear a lot of people have now, but they don’t talk about it openly or accept it.

Sometimes, the biggest thing stopping us isn’t failure — it’s the fear of being seen, judged and considered cringe

I know most of you kids and teens know this fear. It is the fear of being “cringe”, as it’s called in today’s world. In this, a person is not scared of failing or of being bad at something. They are simply scared of looking embarrassing.

You want to post a photo, but you don’t. You want to speak in class, but you stay quiet. You want to try a hobby, dress a certain way, make a video, write something honest… but then your brain goes, “This is cringe.” And that’s it. You stop there.

Being cringe has somehow become worse than being cruel, boring or fake. I have seen people prefer silence rather than showing up.

What does “cringe” mean?

Cringe used to mean something gen­u­inely awkward, like someone oversharing in a room that clearly didn’t care, or trying too hard in a way that made everyone uncomfortable.

But now, cringe means anything that shows courage and dreams that the world is not ready to accept in the typical way. Basically, anything not perfectly cool. Singing with feelings even if your voice isn’t trained. Posting poetry that isn’t perfect like that of famous poets, but is still honest. Talking about your dreams, whether they are small or too big to fit in the universe. Dancing without being amazing at it. Or liking something a bit too openly.

This is more common than people admit. Basically, cringe now means being human, the ordinary, imperfect human, in public.

Where does this fear come from?

A lot of it comes from the internet. These days, everything is recorded, screenshotted, reposted and judged. And when you’re young, and your sense of self is still developing, outside opinions hit harder. Being called cringe at this age feels like being told your whole personality is wrong.

So most of you, the younger generation, learn to stay quiet or blend in, to not stand out too much. You start editing yourself before you even do anything.

The damage

It stops you from discovering yourself, from truly knowing who you are. Did you ever stop yourself from singing? Maybe you had a voice, but you never found out. You changed an outfit because you thought your friends would judge the colour or style. You never discovered what actually suited you because you tried to blend in. You didn’t write, so you never knew you could be a good writer.

Over time, you start believing you are boring. But you’re not. You’re just hidden. And that’s the saddest part. The world doesn’t lose loud people, it loses honest ones.

Everyone who creates has been cringe

Every artist, performer, writer, speaker, even the confident people you admire, were “cringe” at some point in their lives. They said awkward things, accidentally or unknowingly. They openly expressed things they later disliked. They tried and failed publicly. The difference isn’t that they weren’t cringe. It’s that they kept going anyway.

You don’t need to suddenly become fearless, that’s unrealistic. But you can start small. Share something with one person instead of everyone. Let yourself be bad at things without announcing it.

The fear of being cringe is really the fear of being seen, fully and honestly, without filters. Being seen is scary. But hiding forever is worse.

Published in Dawn, Young World, January 31st, 2026

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