It was the start of 2008, the dawn of the Internet age. YouTube was something people whispered about, broadband was a myth and connecting through a cable felt like magic.
In the huge IT lab, about 30 students sat behind bulky monitors. The place buzzed like a beehive of old fans and clicking keyboards.
At the front, Sir Saad, the ever-serious IT teacher, explained “the benefits and disadvantages of Internet usage”, proudly announcing, “The Internet is a new window to global information.” He gave us an assignment to write an essay about the advantages and disadvantages of the Internet.
At the very back sat Asad, the most disciplined student in class. His glasses reflected the blue glow of his screen as he started to type the essay. However, soon the peace was shattered by the agents of chaos, Uzair and Arham.
“General Bison! You killed my father! I will have my revenge!”
“Hahaha! Oh, Ryu, master of the Swagger’s Fist! You are so naive, just like your father! I will crush you as I crushed your father.”
Asad didn’t even need to turn around. He knew Uzair and Arham were at it again. They were supposed to be doing the same essay.
“HADOKEN!” shouted Uzair.
“Close, but no cigar!” growled Arham. “Now have a taste of my lightning!”
“Ah, you got me! I will have my revenge in the next round!” Uzair cried.
“HAHAHAHA!” roared Arham.
“What are you two even doing?” Asad said.
“Just playing Street Fighter II,” Uzair said.
Arham added, “It’s obvious, isn’t it? It’s strange that even with your four eyes, you can’t grasp it.”
“Ignore them. Focus. Save your sanity,” Asad muttered.
He typed: “The Internet gives us access to vast information and a plethora of ideas.” As soon as he had typed it, he was distracted by ridiculous character voice-overs.
“Teehee! I, Chun-Li, know all the ancient secret beauty techniques of China! You boys will never understand flawless skin!”
Asad stopped. Uzair had picked Chun-Li and was trying to mimic a Chinese maiden speaking in a ridiculously high-pitched, giggling voice.
“Don’t look at me like that, Baka! Teehee! My spinning kick will teach you respect.”
Arham had picked Zangief, flexing like a maniac.
“I am Zangief! The Soviet wrestler! My muscles crush men and machines.”
Asad’s hands twitched. He slapped them lightly. No. You’re above this. Focus.
He typed again: “The Internet has been a wondrous invention, but…” Soon it was the same old story.
“Teehee! You can’t hurt me, I’m fabulous!” squeaked Uzair.
“You talk too much,” roared Arham. “I am the Soviet thunder! Prepare yourself!”
“No, you rough brute! Teehee!”
Asad clapped his own hands. Stay calm, he told himself.
But then came the finisher. “Teehee! My beauty is eternal. Ahhhh, nooo! My face!” Zangief had slammed Chun-Li into the ground.
Arham thumped his chest. “I am the Soviet King Kong! Hoo! Hoo!”
Uzair fake-sobbed. “My flawless skin, ruined by a hairy monster.”
Asad’s composure finally snapped. He stood, eyes blazing. “Fine. You want chaos? Let’s have it your way!”
He pushed Uzair aside, cracked his knuckles and took over the keyboard.
“Ken enters the arena,” he declared.
Arham grinned, staying with Zangief. “Hey, friend of Barbie! I will smash your mug!”
“Bring it on, comrade!”
The battle was glorious, accompanied by shouting, fake accents and furious key slamming. Zangief lunged. Ken dodged. Hadoken. Suplex. Counter. Even Tatsumaki Senpukyaku, the Hurricane Kick, but with a cool Japanese name.
Half the lab had stopped pretending to type and was secretly watching.
Round 1: Ken.
Round 2: Zangief.
Round 3: Neck and neck.
Asad shouted, “One more round!” not noticing someone had stepped up behind him.
Arham’s grin faded. Uzair’s eyes widened. Sir Saad was there. Without a word, he picked Sagat.
Asad, oblivious, started the next match. “Arham, you’re going down this time!”
“Sagat ready,” came a deep, calm voice.
Asad was still oblivious. “So you have chosen the one-eyed, eye-patched pirate, Arham. No problem. I will be sending you to oblivion.”
Seconds later, Ken was demolished.
“Hey! Stop spamming Tiger Uppercut!”
The next match started and Sagat won again with Tiger Shots. Two more matches followed, with total annihilation.
Asad blinked. “You’ve been practising behind my back, haven’t you, Arham?”
He turned around and went white-faced.
Sir Saad stood there with a stoic face. Uzair and Arham looked ready to evacuate the planet.
Sir Saad finally spoke. “So this is how you write the essay about the advantages of the Internet I gave you?”
Asad opened his mouth. Then he closed it again.
Sir Saad sighed, sat down and played three more rounds with them, effortlessly beating them all.
As the class ended, he said casually, “Boys, remember to write the essay five more times as punishment and give a presentation in class in my next lesson.”
He said it with a smirk and got up to leave.
Suddenly, he turned and said, “By the way, keep this a secret: I am a great fan of Street Fighter, especially Sagat. Let’s all play next time, but of course, after the work is done.” Then he exited.
The bell rang. Asad looked at his friends. Uzair whispered in Chun-Li’s voice, “Teehee, we are dead.”
Published in Dawn, Young World, September 26th, 2026
