By Faruk Ahmad

AMAN’S worth is greatly assessed by the eloquence of his speech. When we speak, we reveal quite a lot about our personality. Whatever we say and however we say it, the listener gets a clue to our mannerism, eloquence and learns about our views.

When it comes to mannerism, people are sometimes ignorant. They speak to the parents of their school friend the same way as they speak to their school friend. A friend of mine, for example, rang my father and spoke this way: “Hello. Me, Abid. I want to talk to Faruk.”

My father handed me the phone saying, “A very ill-mannered friend of yours is on the phone. Take it. Talk to him.”

So what was wrong with Abid’s style and tone? Actually, his style was informal and the tone somewhat commanding. “Me, Abid,” sounds quite informal and “I want …” indicates a commanding tone. It is all right to speak to friends in this way but when speaking to someone you don’t know very well or s/he is an adult, you should take care. If he had said: “Hello. My name is Abid and I am Faruk’s school friend. Can I please talk to him?” it would have been much better. His style would have been more formal — as it should be because he is speaking to someone much older to him and not very well known to him. Also, his tone would have been polite to suit the situation. After all, he should be making a request rather than giving commands. Politeness in style and tone should be adopted when speaking to those in authority, like your school principal.

However, when we talk to people who are although higher in status, well known to us, we tend to use a semi-formal style. This involves the use of elided words like ‘hasn’t (in place of has not), ‘won’t’ (in place of will not), ‘don’t’ (in place of do not) etc.

For example, if your teacher makes a mistake and you notice it, don’t say: “Teacher, you are wrong.” Instead, you should say: “Teacher, I am afraid you’ve made a mistake.” If someone rings you while you are busy, don’t say: “Call me later.” Instead, you should say: “Can you please call me later?” When you ask for information, don’t say: “I want to know….” Instead, you should say: “I would like to know…”

It is important to adopt a suitable style and tone for your intended audience. Otherwise you may be deemed as ‘ill-mannered’ and ‘rude’.

But when you speak to your peers — people of your own age — you obviously don’t have too much to worry about. Your tone may be chatty and style informal. It is, however, advisable that you refrain from the use of slangs because if, by chance, a passing-by adult hears you, he would not like that. Moreover it can become a habit and you may end up speaking like that to others too.

So from now on whenever you speak, speak politely and with eloquence, bearing in mind that your speech offers a window into your personality.