Isquinted my eyes as the rays from the bulb glared. I could feel the beads of perspiration on my forehead. Suddenly I realised what was making me uncomfortable.

Jamila aunty, who works for us, had once again left the lights on and didn’t bother turning on the fan. Oh, how many times I’ve reminded her not to do so, it disturbed my sleep. Today I had all the more reason to be annoyed — I was fasting and I had to rest else I might tire myself out. Muttering in anger, I climbed out of the bed, put off the lights and slammed my bedroom door shut. I did not want any more disturbances.

As I returned to bed, I heard the distinct clatter in the kitchen. What was mum doing in the kitchen at this time? Then, of course, I realised that Jamila aunty was not fasting and as per routine mum must be preparing breakfast for her. This made me truly mad. I made a mental note to confront mum about this matter. It was high time!

Later in the day as we started the preparations for iftar, I asked mum, “Why don’t you ask Jamila aunty to change her timings? She shouldn’t be disturbing us in the mornings. You know what mum, she left the lights and door open today as well!”

I could see mum wanted to me to stop speaking on this issue but I had loads on my mind, so I continued, “And why should you be preparing meals for her when it’s time for you to rest. You know how long the hours of fasting are. She should also know that it’s not our responsibility to provide her food, that too in Ramazan.”

I took deep breaths as I awaited mum’s reaction. Surely she’d agree with me. However, I was puzzled to see the stern expression that appeared on her face as she spoke, “Is this what you learn from this month? If you think you become superior to other human beings just because you’re fasting then you’re so wrong my child.”

I stared at mum in astonishment whilst she continued, “You do know that Jamila aunty cannot change the schedule, and you also know that she comes to our place without any breakfast and then probably returns late in the afternoon to her home without anything to eat. She can’t fast as she has many health issues and you do realise that she works so hard to make ends meet. It is very little that I do for her by providing a meal when she does a lot more daily for us, for our house.”

Mum sighed and then spoke much more gently, trying to make me understand, “Ramadan is a reminder to us to become humble and realise what is felt by those who go without food almost every other day. These fasts do not free us from our duties dear, they are just a reminder for us to be humble, compassionate and kind. If making a meal for a person who works for us is that bad, then perhaps making all these dishes for iftar is equally bad, after all you’re not even helping me right now.”

Her words made me feel ashamed of my haughty and insensitive attitude. At the iftar table I had a lot to reflect and pray about. I realised that I was very eager to volunteer for the Ramazan food drive which helped the needy, but I frowned upon the fact that my mother provided a meal to the lady who worked for us. Didn’t I always quote that charity begins at home. How could I have overlooked this myself?

Thus I prayed to become a better person who truly understood the trials and tribulations of others, who had compassion and empathy to offer and who’d put others before herself. These are what we ought to learn and inculcate in ourselves through fasting.

Published in Dawn, Young World, July 30th, 2016